


For Better or Worse

by anxiouswritings



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, I'll probably add more tags as I go, Mari agonizing over her feelings, lady/noir will be the focus in this really, later transformation reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 00:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10752588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouswritings/pseuds/anxiouswritings
Summary: A kiss can change everything, but Ladybug and Chat Noir are good at making it through anything life throws at them.





	1. Beginning

“ _CHAT!_ ”

The sonic blast knocked the superhero off the roof, hurling him through the pouring rain and directly into the river below. The waters churned, waves slamming over him and within moments he was submerged in the murky waters.

Lightning cracked through the sky and Ladybug ran to the edge of the roof, searching for a head of blonde hair against the waves, but couldn’t find it. It was too dark and unlike Chat Noir, she didn’t have the gift of night vision.

“Dammit!” She cursed, whirling around to the akumatized victim who stood before her, opening his mouth unnaturally wide to exhale another shockwave that would inevitably send her to the same fate. She was torn. She could either fight him and win, then get Chat, or jump now before her partner drowned.

Ladybug didn’t have to think about it. She turned away from the man, a shrill cry piercing through the night and she jumped into the violent waters as the roof’s edge broke underneath her feet.


	2. Kiss

It was an accident. Plain and simple, it was just an accident. It _had_ to be. Emotions were high, Chat Noir had _almost died_ and it was an instinctive reaction of them almost losing each other. Right? It worked both ways, didn’t it? If Chat Noir died, Ladybug wouldn’t just be losing her long-trusted three year partner in crime, but also her best friend and, simultaneously, he would just… be losing his life. Everything he knew and loved would be gone. His alter-ego’s life, his life as Paris’ beloved superhero, Ladybug…

So it had to be an accident… right?

Rain poured relentlessly against the streets of Paris, lightning crackling in the sky and Ladybug stood in a dark alley, bent over and breathing hard as her mind raced. She was soaked to the bone and with the  light beeping in her ears, she knew she should go home _now_ , but she was paralyzed. Her mind kept running it over again and again in a never ending loop that teased and taunted her.

He kissed her.

_Chat Noir kissed her._

And she… liked it. A lot. Enough to kiss him back, just as fervently and passionately.

She pressed her fingers to her lips, her cheeks rosy with a blush. She could still feel his lips against hers, ice cold from his untimely dip in the river, but gentle. And the way he had held her… Ladybug’s heart skipped a beat, vividly remembering the desperation and passion that had come across as he held her face and kissed her like it was the last time he was ever going to see her. Despite no warmth from the kiss, she still felt the warmth curling inside of her, making her stomach feel fluttery.

Was Chat Noir _really_ in love with her?

Ladybug blinked water from her eyes, shaking her head vigorously. No. That wasn't it. Couldn’t be! Chat Noir wasn’t in love with her. Sure he was a massive flirt, but it was nothing more than that. This was him just being… him. Right?

She pressed her hands to her eyes, frustration spilling over into a wordless cry. Why had this happened? And _why on earth did she kiss him back?_

The beeping in her ears grew louder and she knew there was no way she could stay out here as Marinette. If she didn’t get a cold from being out this long, she’d definitely get one from walking the rest of the way home. _Come on, Ladybug, get a grip!_ She scolded herself, pulling herself away from the mess in her head long enough to grab her yo-yo. She forced herself to move, sailing over the rooftops less on thought and more on instinct. Lightning lit up the sky, guiding her home as she fought against the wind and rain, wishing desperately that night vision had been apart of the Ladybug package.

It was several minutes too long before she threw herself through the trapdoor of her balcony and at the very last minute, her transformation breaking in a bright, pink light leaving behind a shivering, soaking Marinette in it’s wake.

 X

With an exhausted sigh Marinette collapsed onto her bed, hair still damp as she had given up trying to get it dry. She felt cozy in her fluffy pink and black spotted pajamas, but it still sucked that she couldn’t shower or bathe without waking her parents. A nice hot bath and homemade macarons sounded amazing right about now, but all the superheroine could have was her plush bed and the chocolate chip cookie that Tikki munched beside her. She could’ve taken an apple for herself, but when she had reached for it, her stomach had churned.

“You did well today, Marinette, you should get some sleep.” Tikki whispered softly, the gentle kwami brushing her paw through her hair.

Marinette groaned, shuffling herself under her duvet. The warmth encased her, slowly seeping into her chilled bones, but nothing settled the storm of emotions inside of her. “I can try,” She muttered. “But I don’t know how much sleep I’ll be able to get tonight...” She flipped over onto her back, closing her eyes and tucking the covers to her chin.

Tikki glanced at her, fluttering down to sit beside her shoulder. She frowned, lightly pressing her hand against Marinette’s face in worry. “Why not? You beat the Akuma! You guys won! It was very well done, even in this storm…”

“It’s not about that...” Marinette muttered, blinking open her eyes. The wind rattled her window, howling loudly and her stomach twisted, thinking about Chat Noir. She still couldn’t believe it. Chat Noir had kissed her. She had kissed Chat Noir… what the hell did _that_ mean? It was different than the time before, when she had kissed him to save his life. This was personal. Deliberate. More-than-just-friends kind of kiss. She groaned, throwing her arm over her eyes.

She wished she could text Alya… she’d know what to do. She always knew what to do. Desperation bubbled deep inside of her, making her itch to grab her phone and spill three years of a long kept secret, one that wasn’t getting easier to keep the longer she kept it. How she even managed to keep her alter-ego Ladybug a secret for this long was a miracle and now… now she wasn’t sure it was so worth it being the only one in on it.

“Then… what is it?”

She fell quiet, keeping her arm over her eyes. For several heartbeats she didn’t know what to say. Marinette loved Tikki, but would she really understand her predicament? She was over five thousand years old, but even Marinette could see she had a lot to learn about humans and human relationships.

“Chat Noir kissed me.” She finally said quietly, her arm falling to her side.

The silence was loud and only got louder the longer Tikki didn’t say anything, her heart pounding in her chest. Saying it out loud made it feel real.

“Oh Marinette… I--” Tikki paused, biting her lip as she was unsure of what to say. She settled on her Chosen one’s shoulder, staring up at her.

“And I don’t… I don’t know…” Marinette continued, voice cracking. “Chat is Ladybug’s friend -- best friend -- and they’ve been through so much together but… but Ladybug… isn’t _me_ . Or is she? I love Adrien. _I’m_ in love with Adrien, but I’m still me, even when I’m Ladybug and _Chat Noir kissed me._ And I… and I…” She choked on her words, sniffling. “And I kissed him _back_ . Does that mean I’m in love with Chat Noir? More than Adrien? Could I even _look_ Adrien in the face now? How could I…”

“Marinette… Marinette it’s okay…”

The gentleness of Tikki’s words calmed her just a little and she desperately wanted to believe things would be okay. Tikki swam in her blurry vision, lightning making her room glow blue. “It’s not okay. I can’t… I don’t know what to do! I love Adrien, but Chat…” She trailed off, memories flitting through her mind.

Although she had gotten closer to Adrien over the years, they were still just friends. They texted one another, sometimes went to the movies with Nino and Alya, and he spent more time at the bakery over the last year than he had collectively over the time they knew each other. It was… special. Every day was even more precious to Marinette now that Adrien was clearly in the picture, but she could never gather the courage to ask him out. Maybe part of her didn’t want to, too afraid of the consequence of potentially losing this new found friendship.

Chat, on the other hand, had only been growing closer to Ladybug. Fighting crime for three years can do that to two people and Ladybug wouldn’t trade that for the world! But that’s just what it was: their alter-egos. Was that in any way real? Could she, as Ladybug, potentially be in a relationship with Chat Noir and still love Adrien? Or would she sign off Adrien altogether and just be with Chat Noir? How would that even _work_? They didn’t know each other outside of patrols or crime fighting. It’s not like they could even go on dates! And a more important question; did she even like Chat Noir that way?

“Marinette.”

Tikki’s small hand jolted her and she gasped softly, focusing on the small kwami.

“I understand you’re going through something tough right now… but I don’t think fretting over it at one in the morning is going to help you… try to clear your mind and get some rest. We can talk about it when you wake up, okay?”

Sniffling, Marinette slowly nodded her head. She wiped her nose with the sleeve of her pajamas, embarrassed to be crying over such a silly thing. Matters of the heart were not her forte and now she felt more lost than ever. “Okay. Okay, you’re right. Thank you, Tikki…” She smiled, grateful to have such a good friend and gave the kwami a little tickle under her chin.

Tikki smiled gently, closing her eyes for a moment. “Nothing is impossible to figure out, Marinette. No matter what, just remember, that your happiness is the most important thing.”

 X

Unlike Marinette, Adrien slept peacefully throughout the night. It was only thanks to Ladybug that he even managed to make to bed. Half soaked and delirious, Ladybug had graciously carried him home and toweled him off as best she could, leaving the rest up to him when he was able. His Miraculous had been dangerously close to timing out, but even so Ladybug was still there, helping him dry his hair while he was just too damn exhausted.

It had felt like a dream, but the warmth of his room and the safety from the storm kept him anchored despite his body wanting to pass out. He remembered Ladybug smiling at him, saying something cheeky that as Chat Noir he didn’t really hear. He was too entranced by her bluebell eyes and so overcome with thankfulness for the only person in his life who cared so much about him. Three years was a very long time and it was the longest he had ever had a friend. Somewhere between the moment of seeing her smile, his gloved hands had found her face, thumbs brushing over her cheeks and before he could stop himself, he kissed her. He remembered the brush of her hair, the smell of the rain, the warmth of her skin through his suit…

And the beeping from his Miraculous.

Except this sounded more like… ringing?

Adrien’s eyes shot open to the sound of his alarm clock ringing heartily next to him. He groaned, eyes half-lidded as he remembered where he was. In bed, safe. Rain still poured tirelessly against the large window panes of his room and if there was ever a day he wanted to play hooky, today would be it.

Exhaustion still clung to his sore bones and memories of last night were fresh in his head, so vivid he felt like he could still feel the warmth of Ladybug’s cheeks against the palms of his hands. He clicked his alarm off, running his hand through his hair. Kissing Ladybug. God, he kissed Ladybug.

_What the hell had he been thinking?_

He hadn’t, that’s what. Hadn’t been thinking at all and how stupid, stupid, stupid could he be?! Adrien paused, thoughts breaking as his reflection in his computer caught his eyes. His hair was tousled from deep sleep and despite that, there were still unsightly bags under his eyes. His father was going to kill him, but that was bound to happen when Hawkmoth’s akumatized victims kept him and Ladybug up at all hours of the day. He prodded at the puffy skin. Maybe he could take a sick day...

Three loud knocks made him jump, sitting up abruptly. Plagg rose his head, yawning widely as he stared at Adrien with mild irritation. The alarm clock he was used to.

“Adrien! Are you awake? You’re going to be late for school.”  
  
“Coming Nathalie! Just let me take a quick shower.” He shouted back, snatching Plagg off the bed just as the door opened. He smiled broadly, hiding the squirming kwami behind his back as his father’s assistant poked her head in.

She furrowed her eyebrows, taking in his messy bed, then the clock. “Hurry up, please. Breakfast is getting cold.”

The door clicked shut and he sighed, letting go of Plagg. The kwami zipped up to his face, exaggeratedly coughing and gagging in front of him. “Watch how you hold me, buddy!”

“I’m sorry, you know I can’t let her see you.” Adrien said softly, poking at Plagg’s stomach. The kwami frowned and he smiled apologetically. “Hey, I’ll get you enough camembert to last you through the day, okay? No matter how smelly it makes my bag.”

Plagg paused, considering this and his eyes turned to slits as he smiled mischievously, hovering over to Adrien’s shoulder while he started to grab clothes and head for the shower. “You really know how to make a good bargain.”

“Heh, of course I do. I learned from the best.”

 X

The bell rang for first period the moment that Adrien got out of the sleek car, waving to Nathalie as he watched her drive off before bounding up the steps after the last few straggling students. His jacket did little to deter the rain and he cursed himself for not taking the umbrella that Nathalie offered, but it was too late for that! Just as he made it into the sanctuary of the building, sighing as he shook as much water from him as he could, a familiar voice made him pause.

“Oh Adrie-kins!”

Weight settled on Adrien’s shoulders and he smiled sheepishly, not expecting to have Chloe’s wet ponytail touch his neck. He shivered, scooting her blonde hair away as politely as possible. “Good morning, Chloe. Shouldn’t you be in class already?”

She smiled, all teeth and good charm and gave him an awkward side hug, her arms dangling around his neck. “Hmm, I got a bit _tied up_ ,” she said pointedly, glancing back at Sabrina who was struggling to push the bright yellow umbrella into the holder. “But I was heading to class when I saw you and thought we could go together!” Her bright smile faltered as she looked Adrien over and he felt oddly scrutinized under her eyes.

“Er… sure, if you want to. We have to hurry, though, I really don’t want to be late…”

Her arms slipped from his neck to latch onto his arm, pressing herself against him as she looked up at him with her critical blue eyes. He gulped, looking away from her and feeling oddly embarrassed.

“Did my Adrien have a rough night? You look terrible!”

He laughed weakly, glancing back at Sabrina as Chloe steered them towards class. “Thanks… it was just a rough night, that’s all. Nothing to worry about.”

“I mean it! You look like you got run over. What happened?” She reached up to prod at the puffy skin under his eyes and he gently pulled her hand away, smiling as politely as possible.

“I’m fine, Chloe.”

They were lucky to get to class just in time, the teacher having just picked up her clipboard for roll call. She glared at Adrien and Chloe as they snuck into their seats and they were, thankfully, spared her irritation as Sabrina came in huffing and puffing.

“ _Please_ take your seat and try not to be late next time, Sabrina.”

Sabrina hurried to her seat next to Chloe, face flushed and head down and Adrien felt bad for her. It was always hard to see the way Chloe treated her, but he was never sure what to say, or how to bring it up. Or if it was even his place to… He forced himself to look away from the smug expression on Chloe’s face as she whispered something to Sabrina and he put it from his mind as he called out ‘here’.

When the teacher got to Marinette’s name, he was surprised not to hear a response. He turned in his seat, glancing over all the familiar faces and sure enough, Marinette was not one of them. Alya was in her usual spot and she looked unconcerned. He pursed his lips, turning forward and glancing at Nino. He looked dazed and Adrien knew there was no way they could have a quick whisper chat, not when the teacher was already on high alert due to the late students…

Digging a notebook from his bag, and careful not to upset Plagg in his cheese eating happiness, he ripped off a small piece and scratched down a simply message, nudging Nino before sliding the piece of paper to him.

_Adrien: Have you seen Marinette?_

His leg jostled as he waited, impatient, but finally he got a small nudge back.

_Nino: Mari? Nah… she hasn’t come in yet I don’t think._

_Adrien: Oh… okay, thanks._

_Nino: No problem, dude. Why? Are you worried? ;)_

A _drien: She_ **_is_ ** _a friend… of course I’m worried! What kind of question is that?_

_Nino: Haha, just pulling your leg. I’m sure she’s fine. We can ask Alya when we go on break._

Adrien stuffed the sheet of paper underneath his notebook, sighing as he resigned to waiting. It sucked, but there wasn’t much else he could do. He’d talk to her himself, but texting would have to wait until after class was over. He glanced at the windows, idly wondering if she was alright. It was rare for Marinette to miss class and something must be seriously wrong for her to miss it…

But, it wasn’t one of his biggest problems.

The night before swept into his mind, the teacher’s words drowning out as he got caught up in the memory. The softness of Ladybug’s skin, the light hint of a blush, the softness of her lips when he kissed her… He blushed at the memory, his gut churning. Why _had_ he kissed her? Chat Noir was as flirtatious as they come, but he wasn’t that… impulsive. He had more respect for Ladybug than anything and he would never want to do anything she didn’t want to do. So why had he done it? Was it because he was grateful? Overwhelmed? Low on oxygen from having just been saved from drowning? Or just the fact he’d been in love with her for the past three years and that was just the straw that broke the camel's back?

They all sounded like excuses and Adrien bit his lip, kicking himself mentally. She had left so quickly after… what if he had upset her? Made her angry? What if Ladybug never wanted to see Chat Noir again…? Leave it up to him to ruin one of the best things that ever happened to him…

He sighed heavily through his nose, tempted to faceplant his desk in his ever building embarrassment and frustration. With the rain the way it was, it probably would be a few days before he could even _talk_ to Ladybug to make sure she was okay and that was the worst of all. Adrien sighed, blinking as he tried to read the words on the chalkboard. He couldn’t, not when he was worried about Ladybug _and_ Marinette. He hoped they were both okay and that he would be able to get answers sooner than later.

 X

Marinette rolled over in bed, blinking her eyes open slowly. No light filtered into the room, the rain the first thing meeting her ears and she groaned. She grabbed her phone, wincing at the bright light and her eyes widened. “Oh no!” She shouted, leaping out of bed and disturbing Tikki.

The kwami sleepily rubbed her eye as she watched Marinette scramble around her room, tripping as she tried to pull on her jeans and t-shirt at the same time. “Marinette what are you doing…?”

“I’m late! I’m late! My phone didn’t go off… why didn’t my mom wake me up?!” She shouted, distressed as she finally yanked her top over her head. She rooted through her closet, grabbing a thick black winter coat with a hood and pulling it on. She zipped it up, looking around desperately as she grabbed her phone.“Marinette I don’t--” She was gone and the kwami sighed, trailing after her sleepily.

Marinette stomped down the stairs, getting to a frustratingly empty kitchen. It was nearly lunch, so it was to be expected, but she had still hoped something would be in reach. Her stomach growled but she continued barreling down to the bakery, stopping short and walking briskly through the door.

She was greeted with a smile from her mother, who was in the middle of ringing up a customer, and Marinette smiled warmly at the woman that just received their treats. The bell chimed as the customer left, leaving the store thankfully empty.

“Marinette you’re up! How’d you sleep sweetheart?” Sabine asked warmly, affectionately smoothing her daughter’s hair down. “Have you eaten? It looks like you didn’t brush your hair…”  
  
Marinette sighed as her mother fussed with her, wincing as her finger caught a knot. “I-I slept fine… and no I didn’t eat… I’m late for school, I _really_ have to go mom!”

Sabine frowned, pressing the back of her hand to her daughter’s forehead. “I tried to wake you several times, but you wouldn’t budge. Are you staying up late? It seems like you're sleeping later and later nowadays.”

 _That’s only because villains are never considerate._ She thought bitterly, shaking her head. “Yeah… s-sorry I was up late working on a project… I'll get to bed earlier tonight, I promise!”

“Well… alright. Are you sure you don't want to stay home? You feel a bit feverish.”

As tempting as it was to stay in bed for the rest of the day, and maybe get that bath she wanted last night, Marinette couldn't do that to her grades. She already skipped enough school as it was… she was just surprised that her mother hadn't gotten any calls from the principal yet.

“I'm fine, I promise. I'll see you after school alright?” She kissed her mother’s cheek and raced out the door before she could be coerced into having brunch.

 X

Getting to school on an empty stomach was a mistake that Marinette instantly regretted as she slid into her seat. Her stomach growled noisily and she blushed, rooting through her bag in a hurry to try to mask the sound with the rustle of papers.

Alya immediately turned to her friend. “Where have you been, Mari? Cutting class is not a good habit you should make… I texted you!”

“I-I know, I’m sorry. I haven’t checked my phone yet…” She fumbled, her papers scattering over her desk and her pencil flipped out of her hand and nailed Adrien in the back of his head.  Her blush darkened, squeaking softly as he rubbed the sore spot and picked up the pen gingerly.

Nino was smiling deviously and even Alya laughed as Adrien turned, giving her the same dazzling smile he always did. “I think this is yours…” He said, sounding amused.

Her heart skipped a beat and a small part of her was relieved. She still loved Adrien, but it was different than how she loved Chat Noir and, maybe, that was okay. You could still love two people, couldn’t you? She laughed nervously, gingerly taking her pencil from him. “Th-thank you… sorry… it’s been a crazy morning.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad to see you’re okay. The three of us were worried when you didn’t show up for morning classes today.”

Marinette felt warmed inside out, looking over her friend’s faces. She felt genuinely loved and she was lucky to be friends with such good people. She scooted her papers together, shaking her head a bit as she made her space neat. “O-oh… I’m sorry to worry you guys. I was… up working on a project and didn’t fall asleep until super late. I guess I slept through my alarm…”

“Maybe we should go out and get you two more alarm clocks after school…” Alya joked as she draped an arm around her shoulder and Marinette laughed as she was pulled against her friend.

“Alya! I-I’ll be fine, I promise. Hopefully I’ll be getting some better sleep soon…” She glanced at Adrien, who was still looking between her and Alya, smiling. Marinette was surprised to notice that he looked tired too. There were the hint of bags underneath his eyes and she had never seen those before. What could possibly be keeping Adrien up at night? Nothing bad, she hoped… She shook the thought from her head as the teacher walked into the room, wiggling out of Alya’s grasp.

Adrien turned away and she was a bit disappointed. She wanted to ask him if he was okay… or if needed someone to talk to. She knew he was strong, but some things were hard to face alone. She sighed softly, getting out a pencil and trying not to think about Adrien or the kiss or the fact that she had no idea what she was going to do.

 X

Class was dull. At this point, Marinette figured it might’ve just been easier to stay home. What would be one more day of missing class? Doing half-lessons wasn’t much better and the fact that she still hadn’t caught up on the last notes she missed made current classes a whole lot harder. She tried to stay awake, she did, but the words of her teacher lulled her into naps that had to be saved by Alya poking her with a pencil.

When she was awake she took notes like any dutiful student, color coding them to pass the time and highlighting the most important passages. She made marks to make sure she knew to study and memorize those points, as they would be on the impending test, and it was enough to keep her mind occupied.

When the bell rang, it was sweet release. Marinette sighed heavily, scrubbing her hands over her face to in frustration. She had practically slept all day, it didn’t make sense for her to be this tired! Maybe it was just everything… or absolutely nothing and tired was just a state of being for a highschooler.

“You look like you need coffee…”  
  
She looked into the kind eyes of her best friend and gave her a small smile. “Oh… yeah. That actually sounds really good right now, but I really need to catch up on the work I missed...” She trailed off, a dejected look on her face. She had so much to do. Being a superheroine and trying to juggle school work had only gotten harder the more years that passed.

Alya stared at her levelly, calculating and kind and it rose the hairs on Marinette’s arm. Marinette slide out into the aisle, walking down the steps and Alya followed, catching up quickly. “After school isn’t enough to get caught up?” Alya asked carefully and Marinette had been around her long enough to know that she was testing the ground for information.

“Er… I mean. I help out with the bakery sometimes and the evening rushes have been super intense lately! By the time they’re over I’m so exhausted I basically shower and collapse into bed and before I know it… it’s morning.” She smiled sheepishly. “Or I’m just up late doing everything and I make mistakes, crash, then have to redo it… which just makes even _more_ work for me.”

Alya looked at her sympathetically, patting her shoulder as they walked together. “Are you really sure you’re alright? I don’t remember you ever getting this behind on school work before… you don’t have, like, a secret boyfriend or anything do you? Or maybe some super secret double-life?”

Marinette’s eyes widened as fear clenched her heart, her breath stuttering. She coughed to pretend like something was in her throat and Alya instantly started to rub her back. “Wh-what?! No! Of course not! If I had a boyfriend, you’d be the first to know… b-besides… I like… Adrien and you know that!” She whispered his name, glancing around to make sure no one else heard. “And… me? A double life? Please… how on earth could I keep that a secret?”

Alya laughed softly, smiling. “That’s true… and you could never keep a secret like that from me!” She nudged Marinette with her elbow and Marinette laughed weakly, instantly feeling worse.

Alya didn’t notice and Marinette was sort of grateful. More than anything she wanted to blurt the secret out right now, consequences be damned. What kind of a horrible friend keeps things from someone they’re supposed to trust…? If Alya spoke, she didn’t hear most of what she said, except for the tail end.

“--you’ll be fine, girl. You always are.”

It made her feel a little better.

They opened the doors to the library, immediately engulfed in a comfortable silence that Marinette greatly enjoyed. There weren’t many students around, and the few that were all sat at different tables, leaving the prime spots open. She led Alya to the farthest one from the door, dumping her bag onto the table and sitting down in the plush seat. Alya took the seat in front of her, pulling out the notes for the classes Marinette missed.

“Alright, this should be everything… you’re really lucky we haven’t had to take any tests yet.”

“Y-Yeah… I know. Luck is sort of on my side, I guess.”

Alya smiled, her voice still hushed as she pulled out a pen. “I have noticed you’ve always been a lucky one! Maybe that’s why I keep you around, you’re my lady luck.” She teased gently, pulling out a worksheet and began to fill in the answers.

Marinette smiled. Chat Noir had said the same thing about her, too.

They worked in silence, pencils scratching against paper and Marinette half focused. She at least wanted to ask Alya for advice, but wasn’t sure how to. It could be too obvious and if it led to Alya figuring out about her actual double-life… that would probably do more bad than good. She sighed, frowning as she underlined an important equation.

“You know…” Alya said quietly, startling Marinette out of her thoughts.

“Hm?” Marinette hummed idly, doodling something idly in the margins with a red pen as she got distracted.

“If there’s anything you need to talk about, you know you can come to me right?”

Marinette paused, glancing up at her friend. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and she wondered, briefly, if Alya was reading her thoughts. She wouldn’t put it past her, honestly. “Huh? Of course I know that… why do you say that?”

Alya paused, frowning. “It’s just… this is like the fourth time you sighed? I don’t even think that you’ve noticed but… it just seems like something is really wrong.”

God, she was already blowing it and she didn’t even have to say anything. Marinette smiled, reaching out to touch Alya’s hand. “I-I’m sorry if I seem weird… I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now and I have SO much work to do I’m just a bit overwhelmed… I’m sorry.”

Alya shook her head, smiling back. “No, no it’s okay, please don’t apologize. I understand… school and working a job must be really hard! Just… if you ever need to vent or talk, please come to me? I love you, Mari, and I want to be there for you.”

Marinette nodded. “And I really appreciate that… you’re a good friend, Alya.”

Alya nodded, going back to her work, but Marinette didn’t. She watched her friend for a moment, feeling a surge of affection for her. Even if Marinette was still tongue-tied and not sure if she should come out with her secret, it was still nice to know that Alya cared about her enough to still pick up on the little things.

 X

The rest of the day was smoother and Marinette did much better focusing on her schoolwork. Her notebook was full of notes she was actually proud of and it really paid off to feel awake, for once. She glanced at the windows, frowning at the rain that still slid against them. Well, that would make the evening fun. She sighed, glancing at the clock.

Alya glanced at her out of the corner of her eyes, but said nothing and Marinette zoned out as she waited for the last few minutes to pass. A part of Marinette was excited to see Chat, but another part was deeply, deeply scared.

The last bell finally chimed and she sucked in a breath, closing her notebook and stuffing it into her bag.

“Hey, Marinette, are you busy tonight?”

She slung her bag over her shoulder, moving out of the way so that Alya could step out into the aisle. “Hm? S-sort of, why?”

Alya pouted, gesturing at Adrien and Nino. “I was hoping the four of us could chill tonight! Adrien looks as exhausted as you are and you two do _way_ too much work. It’d be nice just to relax and have fun, you know?”

Marinette glanced at Adrien, smiling sheepishly. “As nice as that sounds… I should really get caught up on my work… I’m really scared my parents are going to get a call any day now about how much class I’ve been missing.”

Adrien frowned and Marinette immediately wanted to say yes just to wipe it away. “Yeah… and I got this indoor photoshoot to do tonight, sorry… maybe tomorrow, though?”

“Aw, come on you guys! You’re killing me!” Alya complained dramatically, crossing her arms. “Alright… well if we can’t do it today, it’s either tomorrow or BOTH of your Saturday’s belong to Nino and I!”

Marinette laughed and even Adrien smiled at that, which made her happy. “Alright, alright, fine! You can have Saturday.”

“I’ll make sure my schedule is free.”

Alya nodded, satisfied as she walked to Nino and hooked her arm with his. “Excellent! Now, we must be off. Since we’re free now, Nino can take me on a date.”

Nino smiled. “Sure thing, where do you want to go?”

The couple turned and left, making plans as the rest of the students trickled out of the room and left Adrien and Marinette alone.

She smiled up at him, feeling too hot underneath her thick jacket. She rubbed at the sleeve, glancing at the windows. “This is some rain, huh?”

Adrien glanced over his shoulder, watching the rain for a moment. “Yeah… it is. I hope it stops soon.”

“Me too. It’d really suck to get a cold right now!”

He laughed softly, the sound echoing in the quiet room and it had to be one of Marinette’s favorite things in the world. “Look… I really don’t mean to be rude Adrien, but you look… tired. Are you alright?”

Adrien touched the bag underneath his eyes and looked away sheepishly. “Yeah… I’m good. Just… been working a lot lately, you know? And I haven’t been sleeping very well.”

Marinette frowned. “Oh… that’s not good. If you want, I can see if there are any home remedies I can make to help you sleep better? Everything is much easier when you’re rested, I should know!”

He looked stunned by her offer, still surprised by her kindness, but immediately smiled. “You… you’d do that for me? Thanks Marinette, you’re the best. If it’s not too much trouble, of course, I wouldn’t mind… I’m pretty desperate at this point and I don’t have much of a taste for tea.”

She smiled widely. “Of course! I mean… we’re friends, it’s what friends do.”

“Y-yeah, that’s true.”

A phone buzzed, interrupting the moment and Adrien pulled out his sleek, black phone. He frowned and for a moment, Marinette was struck with how much it reminded her of Chat Noir. It was the nuances of his expression, the way his hair fell into his green eyes and the small creases around his mouth that appeared, just like Chat’s. “I… I got to go. Duty calls. Text me, alright? I feel like we never see each other anymore.”

She nodded, giving him a small smile as her heart ached. She really had no idea what she was going to do. “Y-yeah… I will. Good luck tonight.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it.”

X

Marinette flopped onto her bed, groaning as she closed her eyes. On her way home the rain had finally decided to become a light drizzle, but even that did very little to lift her mood. It must’ve been noticeable to her parents, who welcomed her warmly then told her to shower and have a snack before dinner. It made her glad, really, at least she’d get some quality time to herself without feeling pressured to look like she was okay.

Tikki fluttered over to her side, sitting on her shoulder and Marinette affectionately ran a finger over her head. Tikki accepted the touch, sighing softly. “Marinette, you really shouldn’t worry so much.”

“How can I NOT Tikki? You can’t love two people at once! I want… I want to be with Adrien… I think… I don’t know!” She rolled over, burying her face into her pillow and groaned.

Tikki flew to the other side, sitting on her pillow. “Marinette, just follow your heart. It’s not like you and Adrien are dating… and you’re much closer to Chat. He seems to really like you! What would be so wrong with that…?”

She sighed, voice muffled. “Because… I’ve spent so many years loving Adrien. How can I just suddenly change my mind over a kiss?”

Tikki sighed. “Mm… that only gives you two options then… either confess to Adrien and see how that goes… or get with someone who you feel confident around and very openly likes you.”

Marinette tilted her head to frown at her kwami. “But… that confidence isn’t _me…_ it’s Ladybug.”

A small smile parted the kwami’s lips and she scooted forward to rest her hand on Marinette’s forehead. “Listen to me… even when you’re Ladybug you’re still you. Anything you feel as Ladybug _is_ you. Just open and unrestrained… you are not two different people. You’re still the same loveable Marinette! You just have the magical aid to withstand the akuma that Hawkmoth can make, that's all."

Marinette closed her eyes, mulling over the words. In a way she believed Tikki, but another part of her couldn’t stop separating the two lives. She felt so different as Ladybug… strong, alive, confident… nothing that remained when she became herself again. How could she be the same person if those feelings didn’t remain?

“You are who you are and that doesn’t change just because you put on a mask and save the world.”

She sighed softly, burying her face into her pillow. “I guess… I just…” She paused, unsure of what she was even trying to say. “Nevermind… I’ll be seeing Chat Noir tonight anyway, so I’ll have no choice other than to follow my heart…”


End file.
